Page 14 - Real Rochdale Issue 14 Summer 2022
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SARAH FITCHETT “In the morning, Ben got up to do his paper round didn’t get to see how well he’d done; he wanted
and I was up at that time anyway. I offered him a
to go into filming and reporting about nature, like
lift, but he said he was okay. I waved him off, said David Attenborough.
WOMAN OF ROCHDALE 2022 goodbye and ‘I love you’. I didn’t think anything of “Our grief stays the same, but your life grows
it until he didn’t return home.
around it. People ask when will they be like
“I thought it was strange but we’d messaged and me, but it’s about keeping going, thriving and
rung him, asking where he was and how long he’d surviving. You can be the person that changes
be. He didn’t have his house keys on him so we and raises awareness, or you can let grief
needed to make sure he could get home. consume you and become destructive.
“I already had a strange feeling and started “You do try to justify it, ‘what if’, but that’s part of
panicking a bit. I didn’t think for one minute the grieving process. When you don’t have time
that Ben would be dead or have taken his own to grieve and accept it – like with sudden deaths
life. That was a really challenging moment; the – you can torment yourself. Talking about your
bottom had fallen out of my world.” lived experience and connecting with people can
be really empowering.
It was after Ben’s tragic death that Sarah was
introduced to PAPYRUS, a leading suicide “I honestly don’t know how much money I’ve
prevention charity, of which she became a helped raise for PAPYRUS. It’s more about the
trustee in 2016. awareness, that people know the charity is there
for young people. It would have been enough
It was in Ben’s memory that the Fitchett family to raise enough for one phone call. Needing
organised two HOPEWALKS which have raised help and not being able to cope is nothing to
over £26,000 for the charity. be ashamed of. PAPYRUS has an intervention
service where they talk and listen, and if
“We met some fabulous people as the community someone’s in danger, they can send someone to
came together to remember and celebrate Ben’s help them, and create a safety plan in case they
life. We held a memorial service at church for feel that way again.”
Sarah Fitchett (left) being presented with the award by previous winner Carole Kelly people to reflect on his life and acknowledge he’d
died. The church was full, which was reassuring Sarah concluded: “I don’t do this for any
There’s something bittersweet about Sarah Growing up, Sarah describes her sons as “really and showed how loved Ben was. The Scout accolade. I do it because I’m a bereaved mum and
Fitchett’s achievements. Behind the soft-spoken good friends” but “very different in personality.” leaders and groups have been really supportive I don’t want people to suffer. I share my story to
woman who has raised thousands of pounds and too and done things in his memory. show that there is hope out of loss, and to try and
awareness of a leading suicide prevention charity “They were really placid and friendly. Neither help other families.
is a bereaved mum who channelled her grief into of them were mad on sports but they were both “We did brave picking up Ben’s early GCSE
helping others. reasonably high achievers and musical. Ben results a few days later and it’s quite sad that he “Being named Woman of Rochdale was quite
looked more like his dad, whilst Sam looks like humbling and a shock; I still can’t believe it.”
Sarah Fitchett gave birth to twin baby boys – Ben me.
and Sam – at 27 weeks in September 1998. Ben Help and support
was the elder of the two by just two minutes, and “They liked a lot of different things and were
both boys weighed just two-and-a-half pounds. making their own identities.” HOPELINEUK is PAPYRUS’s confidential
helpline service providing practical advice and
Having been a nurse since sixth form, Sarah Sadly in 2013, Sarah and her husband Pete’s lives support to young people with thoughts of suicide
moved from adult nursing and endocrinology to were changed, as Ben, then aged 14, took his and anyone concerned about a young person
neonates and midwifery. She is now a lecturer at own life. who may have thoughts of suicide.
Salford University and working towards her PhD.
“It was a shock; I can honestly say that,” Sarah HOPELINEUK is staffed by trained
“When the boys were nine months old, I thought recalls. “Ben had been on an activity holiday with professionals. For practical, confidential suicide
maybe it was time for a change of direction. I Scouts in Switzerland. He’d come home that prevention help and advice please contact
could see myself being able to support other Sunday afternoon, full of joy. He’d loved it. He PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK on 0800 068 4141,
families and empathise with their journeys,” she gave us presents and we were chatting about the text 07860 039967 or email
said. holiday that evening. There was nothing unusual pat@papyrus-uk.org.
about his behaviour.
Ben Fitchett
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