Page 17 - Real Rochdale Issue 17 Spring 2023

BLOKES at Hare Hill House – a

safe space for men to socialise

A support group for men suffering from loneliness celebrates four years
this spring – with Real Rochdale being granted the extremely rare
privilege of being allowed into the BLOKES inner sanctum.

BLOKES was started in March 2019 by Peter As Peter puts it: “The blokes only open up if
Reed, after he realised there was a need to look they want to. There is no prying, no formality.”
after men who have become lonely or isolated
and also provide a safe and quiet space for Met with a handshake and a smile, attendees
them to socialise. can enjoy a cup of tea or coffee, cakes and
biscuits over a game of dominoes, cards or
Since then – except during the Covid lockdowns darts, and the first Wednesday of each month
– the group has met at Hare Hill House every also sees the presentation of the coveted
Wednesday at 1.30pm, providing a quiet space ‘golden gnome’ award.
for men to socialise.
Alastair Fitton has been a regular at BLOKES
There are no rules, no speakers, no bingo, no for around two years: “I made instant good
women – but there is plenty of cake, friendship friends. When I got here, I didn’t know what
and camaraderie. people were called but it didn’t take long. We’re
all on a level playing field and it’s become a vital
“Men are reluctant to admit that they need to part of the week.
be with other men, that they do need a social It’s clear to see that whilst everyone in the room “I was lonely,” Bob says in his clear Scottish
bond, not isolation. We can become lonely and “There’s all things for all men, but there’s never at BLOKES benefits, the benefits aren’t confined accent. “I wouldn’t miss it. I’ve made friends and,
isolated because of many reasons, be it a harsh word.” to Hare Hill House: Geoff’s wife, who is also as we say in Scotland, the craic’s good.”
bereavement, retirement, unemployment, his carer, has some respite time whilst he’s at
illness or stress,” Peter says. Geoff Meeks, who has Parkinson’s, has found BLOKES, and a couple of attendees have Peter explains: “It’s not what we do that’s made
that the social group is helping with his speech conditions such as dementia or Parkinson’s, us so successful, it’s what we don’t do... It’s all
The group has been a resounding success, as it and is a rare source of laughter for him, whilst others look after someone with those conditions. about friendship: they’re socialising, and the
doesn’t force attendees to share their thoughts Bob began coming to BLOKES a couple of years format works.”
or answer awkward questions. ago after his daughter told him about the group.
It’s very telling that many of the men here
during our visit won’t book any appointments if BLOKES is perhaps best summed up by this
it’s going to clash with BLOKES, and we’re told poignant statement from one attendee, Barry:
that one regular who is currently in hospital can’t “We don’t do anything, but it means a lot.”
wait to get back.

BLOKES mainly stands for reasons why men can become lonely: Bereavement, Lonely,
isolate or On own, unEmployed. The remaining letters are benefits of the sessions:
Kindness and Socialising.

BLOKES at Hare Hill House has a Facebook page of the same name for any men interested
in attending, or for those interested in taking a friend or relative to one of the sessions.

BLOKES meets on a Wednesday afternoon from 1.30pm at Hare Hill House, Littleborough.

REAL ROCHDALE - SPRING 2023 16 17 REAL ROCHDALE - SPRING 2023