Winter 2018Take the emotion out of divorce

New year is the time when most couples file for divorce, in fact, the first Monday in January following Christmas has been dubbed as ‘Divorce Monday’. This is because most couples put off divorce proceedings in an attempt to give their children a good Christmas and avoid awkward conversations with other family members.

Some couples try to give their marriage one last chance and there are others who wait until the new year for financial reasons, because the date HMRC uses to determine relationship status for tax purposes is 31 December.

If you do decide to end your marriage, then you need to carefully consider your options. Getting a divorce is not just about a legal document declaring that you are not married any more, there is often a house to think about, shared finances and children. You need to have a clear idea of what you want to achieve before going through the divorce process as life as you know it will be very different.

The family court is not interested in how and why a relationship broke down. Unless there is a compelling reason, any settlement the court considers will be designed to be fair, taking into account your current and future needs, but the interests of children are always put first.

Divorces will always be simpler, cheaper and quicker and less destructive for both parties if they can behave in a sensible and cooperative manner. If you can, discuss with your partner how you will approach the divorce, such as which of you will petition for divorce and on what grounds. This will keep costs down and reduce upset and shock.

Mediation should be considered as an option, to see if you can agree on key issues such as arrangements for the children, the house and what to do about savings, money and pensions.

All the solicitor will then have to do is draw up the agreement which avoids delays and the costs of a full court hearing, but mediation will only work if both parties are open-minded and committed to finding a solution.

When you go to a solicitor for legal advice, make sure you are clear and tell the whole story as there is nothing worse than something coming out that you did not tell your solicitor, nothing will be a surprise, solicitors have heard it all.

Make sure you get a clear estimate on costs, agree how the case is funded and how you will be informed if the cost increases, although you should be wary of any hidden costs, disbursements (sums paid on your behalf by a solicitor to a third party) and VAT.

It is always important to ask questions, there is no such thing as a silly question; family lawyers have the ability to both be professional and sympathetic to what you are going through as they understand that divorce is a stressful experience.

Take the emotion out of the situation and think clearly about the result you are looking for. This will also enable your solicitor to help you get what you want from the divorce.

ABOUT THE WRITER

Hassan Ansari is a Director and solicitor advocate at Pennine Solicitors. Based on Drake Street in Rochdale, Pennine Solicitors has been practising since 1999.