Summer 2022Sarah Fitchett Woman of Rochdale 2022

There’s something bittersweet about Sarah Fitchett’s achievements. Behind the soft-spoken woman who has raised thousands of pounds and awareness of a leading suicide prevention charity is a bereaved mum who channelled her grief into helping others.

Sarah Fitchett gave birth to twin baby boys – Ben and Sam – at 27 weeks in September 1998. Ben was the elder of the two by just two minutes, and both boys weighed just two-and-a-half pounds.

Having been a nurse since sixth form, Sarah moved from adult nursing and endocrinology to neonates and midwifery. She is now a lecturer at Salford University and working towards her PhD.

“When the boys were nine months old, I thought maybe it was time for a change of direction. I could see myself being able to support other families and empathise with their journeys,” she said.

Growing up, Sarah describes her sons as “really good friends” but “very different in personality.”

“They were really placid and friendly. Neither of them were mad on sports but they were both reasonably high achievers and musical. Ben looked more like his dad, whilst Sam looks like me.

“They liked a lot of different things and were making their own identities.”

Sadly in 2013, Sarah and her husband Pete’s lives were changed, as Ben, then aged 14, took his own life.

“It was a shock; I can honestly say that,” Sarah recalls. “Ben had been on an activity holiday with Scouts in Switzerland. He’d come home that Sunday afternoon, full of joy. He’d loved it. He gave us presents and we were chatting about the holiday that evening. There was nothing unusual about his behaviour.

“In the morning, Ben got up to do his paper round and I was up at that time anyway. I offered him a lift, but he said he was okay. I waved him off, said goodbye and ‘I love you’. I didn’t think anything of it until he didn’t return home.

“I thought it was strange but we’d messaged and rung him, asking where he was and how long he’d be. He didn’t have his house keys on him so we needed to make sure he could get home.

“I already had a strange feeling and started panicking a bit. I didn’t think for one minute that Ben would be dead or have taken his own life. That was a really challenging moment; the bottom had fallen out of my world.”

It was after Ben’s tragic death that Sarah was introduced to PAPYRUS, a leading suicide prevention charity, of which she became a trustee in 2016.

It was in Ben’s memory that the Fitchett family organised two HOPEWALKS which have raised over £26,000 for the charity.

“We met some fabulous people as the community came together to remember and celebrate Ben’s life. We held a memorial service at church for people to reflect on his life and acknowledge he’d died. The church was full, which was reassuring and showed how loved Ben was. The Scout leaders and groups have been really supportive too and done things in his memory.

“We did brave picking up Ben’s early GCSE results a few days later and it’s quite sad that he didn’t get to see how well he’d done; he wanted to go into filming and reporting about nature, like David Attenborough.

“Our grief stays the same, but your life grows around it. People ask when will they be like me, but it’s about keeping going, thriving and surviving. You can be the person that changes and raises awareness, or you can let grief consume you and become destructive.

“You do try to justify it, ‘what if’, but that’s part of the grieving process. When you don’t have time to grieve and accept it – like with sudden deaths – you can torment yourself. Talking about your lived experience and connecting with people can be really empowering.

“I honestly don’t know how much money I’ve helped raise for PAPYRUS. It’s more about the awareness, that people know the charity is there for young people. It would have been enough to raise enough for one phone call. Needing help and not being able to cope is nothing to be ashamed of. PAPYRUS has an intervention service where they talk and listen, and if someone’s in danger, they can send someone to help them, and create a safety plan in case they feel that way again.”

Sarah concluded: “I don’t do this for any accolade. I do it because I’m a bereaved mum and I don’t want people to suffer. I share my story to show that there is hope out of loss, and to try and help other families.

“Being named Woman of Rochdale was quite humbling and a shock; I still can’t believe it.”

Help and support

HOPELINEUK is PAPYRUS’s confidential helpline service providing practical advice and support to young people with thoughts of suicide and anyone concerned about a young person who may have thoughts of suicide.

HOPELINEUK is staffed by trained professionals. For practical, confidential suicide prevention help and advice please contact PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK on 0800 068 4141, text 07860 039967 or email .