Spring 2023BLOKES at Hare Hill House - a safe space for men to socialise

A support group for men suffering from loneliness celebrates four years this spring – with Real Rochdale being granted the extremely rare privilege of being allowed into the BLOKES inner sanctum.

BLOKES was started in March 2019 by Peter Reed, after he realised there was a need to look after men who have become lonely or isolated and also provide a safe and quiet space for them to socialise.

Since then – except during the Covid lockdowns – the group has met at Hare Hill House every Wednesday at 1.30pm, providing a quiet space for men to socialise.

There are no rules, no speakers, no bingo, no women – but there is plenty of cake, friendship and camaraderie.

“Men are reluctant to admit that they need to be with other men, that they do need a social bond, not isolation. We can become lonely and isolated because of many reasons, be it bereavement, retirement, unemployment, illness or stress,” Peter says.

The group has been a resounding success, as it doesn’t force attendees to share their thoughts or answer awkward questions.

As Peter puts it: “The blokes only open up if they want to. There is no prying, no formality.”

Met with a handshake and a smile, attendees can enjoy a cup of tea or coffee, cakes and biscuits over a game of dominoes, cards or darts, and the first Wednesday of each month also sees the presentation of the coveted ‘golden gnome’ award.

Alastair Fitton has been a regular at BLOKES for around two years: “I made instant good friends. When I got here, I didn’t know what people were called but it didn’t take long. We’re all on a level playing field and it’s become a vital part of the week.

“There’s all things for all men, but there’s never a harsh word.”

Geoff Meeks, who has Parkinson’s, has found that the social group is helping with his speech and is a rare source of laughter for him, whilst Bob began coming to BLOKES a couple of years ago after his daughter told him about the group.

It’s clear to see that whilst everyone in the room at BLOKES benefits, the benefits aren’t confined to Hare Hill House: Geoff’s wife, who is also his carer, has some respite time whilst he’s at BLOKES, and a couple of attendees have conditions such as dementia or Parkinson’s, others look after someone with those conditions.

It’s very telling that many of the men here during our visit won’t book any appointments if it’s going to clash with BLOKES, and we’re told that one regular who is currently in hospital can’t wait to get back.

“I was lonely,” Bob says in his clear Scottish accent. “I wouldn’t miss it. I’ve made friends and, as we say in Scotland, the craic’s good.”

Peter explains: “It’s not what we do that’s made us so successful, it’s what we don’t do... It’s all about friendship: they’re socialising, and the format works.”

BLOKES is perhaps best summed up by this poignant statement from one attendee, Barry: “We don’t do anything, but it means a lot.”

BLOKES mainly stands for reasons why men can become lonely: Bereavement, Lonely, isolate or On own, unEmployed. The remaining letters are benefits of the sessions: Kindness and Socialising.

BLOKES at Hare Hill House has a Facebook page of the same name for any men interested in attending, or for those interested in taking a friend or relative to one of the sessions.

BLOKES meets on a Wednesday afternoon from 1.30pm at Hare Hill House, Littleborough.